Just Tryin' to Save You
by CyanGalaxy
Summary: "But I have to protect you… Even if it is from yourself." (One-Shot) Read Warnings inside. Friendship Destiel.
**A/N: Trigger Warnings: Character death and suicided attempt. Read at own risk.**

Shakily, so shakily, Dean lifted the gun, cocked it, aimed it—at the enemy…himself. His mind kept replaying Sam's death over and over again, tormenting him each time, and each time Dean felt like a dagger had been pieced through his heart, a round of rapid tasers through the chest, or sizzling through flames of fire, burning until his was nothing left but ash and singed flesh… The guilt of his brother's death was literally killing him from the inside out, and he thought the other way to be free from the pain was to end it all. He didn't care where he went in the afterlife. Maybe Heaven—heaven would be nice, but after all the things he's done, people he's killed, that reality would be just too unbelievable. Hell was the other option, yet as much as it was agonising, torturous and acidic, it couldn't be much worse than what he was feeling right now. He would take physical pain over emotional pain any day. For him, Earth was Hell as much as _Hell_ was Hell.

"Dean,"

He barely ever heard Cas's voice.

"Dean, stop."

Dean shock his head and scoffed bitterly. "Why Cas?" He spat out venomously. "Why not?"

Cas tried to say something— _anything_ , but couldn't find the words. He was dealing with something far beyond the problems Angels have… This was to emotional—to human.

"Sammy's gone, so I thought I might go, too." Dean said in the same tone that sounded a little psychotic. "Cas, I was supposed to protected him, but I didn't. No- No I just watched as he died!" Voice so pained. "But now— now there's no one els I gotta protect."

Cas's eyes had that sorrowful gleam, and even maybe just a little bit of him felt pain for Dean. "Maybe, Dean… But I have to protect you… Even if it is from yourself." Angels were meant to be there for the humans, so Castiel would be there for Dean.

And so Castiel's angelic energy flowed through Dean's assaulted brain as two fingertips touched his head.

All the memories of Sam Winchester were starting to fade away. From the moment his little bother lay an infant in the cotton-sheet crib, to the moment of his bloody, gore-filled death were all erased, altered or changed completely—some of the recent one were replaced with Castiel himself taking Sam's place.

In reality, it would only be one millisecond at least, yet for Cas, it seemed like millenniums, switching every single memory of Dean's little Sammy, into nothingness. There were just too many. Cas even had to change some of his best friend's favourite memories, like that 4th of July, with him and Sammy playing around with sparklers, when Dean pounced on Sam in his dormitory back at Stanford—the night that started everything. Even the bad memories like when Sam died the first time…and all the times after, until the last when even Cas knew Sam would never come back...That had broken Dean completely.

Cas's hand slid from his friend's head, and Immediately the stress and denseness of so much information altered, left Dean swaying unconscious to the floor, so Cas caught him then he fell...

 _…a week later…_

Cas observed Dean while he just tinkered on the Impala, Sam's blood still stained on the seats, but Dean knew in as his own. He had blasted some rock song, which the Angel hadn't heard of, and frankly didn't know how anybody liked it, but Dean seemed to, since he was mouthing the words and using the wrench to drum along with the beat.

"Hello, Dean," Castiel spoke, showing himself to the Human.

Dean almost didn't hear him, but saw him and jumped a little. "Cas, hey… Something up?" Normally when Castiel did show it was important, and this time… I guess you could say that.

"I wanted to see how you are—how you're doing."

A confused express played on Dean's features. "Uh, I'm ok? Are _you_ ok? You're acting a little weird… More than usual."

Castiel started to think he wasn't the one being weird. "I just came to see if you're alright… We're like brothers, brothers do that." That was something the Angel leant from the Winchesters and only added the last bit, because Dean himself that once said they were like family. Cas was wondering if he had erased that bit as well, when his friend scoffed and shook his head.

"I wouldn't know, Cas. I've never had a brother."

•••

 **A/N**

 **Dammmmmnn. Wtf did I do. I don't think Cas would ever do that, but early Cas might, especially if he thought he was helping. I'm still new to SPN, so don't get so mad if ya don't like it, please :)**

 **Feedback is awesome, constructive. Hoped ya liked it.**

 **-CyanGalaxy**


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